How to Fire a Doctor (Politely, But Firmly)

Subtitle: You're not being “difficult.” You’re being smart.

If your doctor rushes you, dismisses your concerns, or treats you like a checklist item, it’s time to move on. You wouldn’t stay in a bad relationship. Don’t stay in a bad medical one either.

🚩 Red flags include:

• Interrupting before you finish a sentence

• Talking about you instead of to you

• Brushing off new symptoms with “that’s just getting older.”

• Refusing to explain medications or alternatives

• Making you feel like a burden

• And here’s a big one: no eye contact.

“Are they autistic, shy, or just a jerk?”

You’re sitting in a paper gown, vulnerable, and they’re staring at a tablet like you’re not even there. You start wondering: Are they neurodivergent? Painfully introverted? Or just too arrogant to bother looking at me?

It doesn’t really matter. Whatever the reason, you deserve a provider who views you as a whole person. Not a billing code. Not a checklist. Not an afterthought.

Good care starts with connection. And connection starts with eye contact.

How to make a clean break:

“Thank you for your time and care. I’ve decided to seek a second opinion and will be transferring my records. I wish you the best.”

That’s it. That’s the whole break-up. No guilt. No explanation required.

Pro tip:

Request your medical records in writing. It’s your legal right. You may have to fill out a release form,

but you don’t need permission.

Final thought:

A good doctor is a partner. If you don’t feel heard, respected, or safe, it’s time for a new partner. One who can look you in the eye.