The Hot Flash Heard 'Round the Store

A true tale of menopause, mutual understanding, and the magic of middle-aged small talk

When I was alot younger, I had a hard time striking up a conversation with a complete stranger. Now it's easier - age gives you so much more to talk about.

Like the other day I was in Hobby Lobby. As I approached the cash registers, I noticed one of the women furiously fanning herself. So, all I did was utter the single word guaranteed to start a conversation. I looked at her and uttered "hot flash". You have no idea how fast that starts a conversation, not just a one-on-one conversation, but every woman within earshot was eager to join in. Old age is so much more relatable!

Suddenly, it was like I’d cracked some secret menopausal code. The cashier stopped scanning and nodded so hard I thought her bun would fall out. A woman in the next lane leaned over and said, “Preach, sister.” And from somewhere behind the seasonal wreath display, a voice called out, “I keep a fan in every room of the house, including the garage!”

In less than thirty seconds, we had a full-blown support group forming right there in Aisle 7, swapping remedies, horror stories, and the kind of heatwave humor you only earn by surviving it. One woman admitted she once stuck her head in the freezer. Another confessed to ripping off her bra in the carpool line. We laughed like old friends, sweaty, sleepless old friends, united by the blazing furnace of midlife.

The truth is that aging doesn’t make you invisible. If anything, it gives you a shortcut past the small talk. We’ve all been through things now—real things, and a single well-timed word can open the floodgates of connection. At this age, no one’s trying to impress anyone. We’re just trying to make it through the day with our dignity, our sense of humor, and maybe a fan or two.

So, if you’re ever in need of a conversation starter, skip the weather. Just say “hot flash.”

Trust me. The sisterhood will hear you.